If You Have to Cry, Go Outside, by Kelly Cutrone #1
I love reality television, but I have to admit that I didn’t know who Kelly Cutrone was until my mom (who has her finger on the pulse of popular culture more than anyone else I know – Love you Mama!) mentioned this book to me. Evidently Kelly Cutrone is a no-nonsense PR person who has been on several reality shows.
You see, I am a crybaby. If you know me well, this is not a big revelation to you, because it is almost certain that you have seen me bawling my eyes out, probably several times. Yes, even if you know me because you were once my boss. One time I fell apart in my favorite professor’s office and he politely informed me that “there are no tears in sociology.” I felt it necessary, between sobs, to tell him that, in fact, there are a lot of tears in sociology. Then I took the tissue he offered me and worked very hard to pull it together. How humiliating is that?
My baby is used to it – she looks at me and says “Mama is cying.” Then sometimes she pretends to be crying too, in some sort of sweet toddler solidarity.
Anyway, I have no idea whether this book will help me learn how to do a better job of controlling my emotions. So far I have read the intro and the first chapter, and, while Cutrone is a PR person in the fashion world, I think I might learn a thing or two that applies to my non-fashion world life.
I should point out that, so far, it is clear I am not in her targeted demographic. I think she is aiming her advice at young women who are just finishing high school or college and are deciding what to do with their lives.
Here is a little sample for you:
So many mothers say they want their daughters to be independent, but what they really hope is that they’ll find a well-compensated banker or lawyer and settle down between the ages of twenty-five and twenty-eight in Greenwich, Darien, or That Town, U.S.A., to raise babies, do the grocery shopping, and work out in relative comfort for the rest of their lives. I know this because I employ their daughters. They raise us to think they want us to have careers, and they send us to college, but even they don’t really believe women can be autonomous and take care of themselves.
I think that even married women with children should maintain some level of individual autonomy or independence, even if they do not work outside of the home. Both partners should be able to steer the ship. By the way, I like doing the grocery shopping, but I love that hubby and I are working together to raise our baby.
Other posts about If You Have to Cry, Go Outside:
Post 1: If You Have to Cry, Go Outside, by Kelly Cutrone
Post 2: Fake It Until You Make It
Post 3: The Day I Spoke to Dolphins
Post 4: Birth Story
Post 5: You Tell ‘Em, Little Sister
I’ve found keeping really busy helps me avoid being over-emotional, until I eventually lose it and crack for about a day or so. I get wound up tight and then can’t hold it in any longer. My husband has had to learn to watch out for me when these break downs come, and he’s been sensitive and a good support. I used to give into my emotions much more often, but I’ve found that all the coming and going constantly with my kids’ schedule keeps me from going beyond surface/superficial, and I feel less. Then sometimes I step back, pause for a moment and reality sets in.
I can say I’ve had times in my life as a stay-at-home mom that I’ve been swallowed up in my kids’ needs and demands, and I’ve lost some of my individuality. Partly because I’ve chosen to give it up, I guess. Sometimes that has bothered me–like I wonder what happened to that woman I once was. Other times I realize I’ve just gained a new identity and I’ve learned to embrace the new me without totally saying good-bye to the old me. After sacrificing for a while and realizing I wasn’t happy where I was at because I was denying myself of a lot of the things that used to bring me so much happiness, my husband and I talked and I made goals to take more “me” time more often. And it’s helped a lot. I started pursuing creative outlets. I started reading more again. And I became happier. Balance is so important.
Now for a working mom, I don’t know, because I don’t have as much experience in that department as I’ve only worked part-time jobs sometimes.