Free Range Kids, by Lenore Skenazy – #1
As many of you probably did, I first heard about Lenore Skenazy when she scored some major publicity for letting her nine-year-old son ride the New York subway alone. I was one of those people who thought she was crazy for doing this, but then I would be afraid to ride the New York subway alone – myself, let alone my kid. I have never been on a subway anywhere, and my one trip to New York so far (unless you count the New York themed hotel in Las Vegas) included flying into the Islip airport (alone) and driving a rental car to GB’s grandfather’s house in Hampton Bays (at least I think that’s where it was – it has been awhile).
Anyway, her child survived, and she started a fascinating blog. And then she wrote a book, which I have been wanting to read since it came out. So, this week it is, and so far I have read the introduction and up through Chapter 3:
The first couple of chapters are about learning to assess risk, and about not listening to the media, whose job it is to terrify you (that’s entertainment, right?).
She paraphrases Warwick Carins, author of How to Live Dangerously: The Hazards of Helmets, the Benefits of Bacteria, and the Risks of Living Too Safe
Chapter 3 warns against listening to “parenting experts” which is funny because, in a way, Lenore Skenazy IS one now, given the book deal and everything (she, too, sees the humor in this). She specifically mentions the pre-parenting book, What to Expect When You’re Expecting: Fourth Edition
1. I have never read it. When I was pregnant, I took one look at this book in the store and decided it was a bad idea for me to have. Later, I turned down generous offers to borrow the book (I guarantee, this book is in the personal library of someone you know. They might have even read it). Why? It is written in a way that scares the heck out of you, which is not the best thing for pregnant, hormonal women. I spent my pregnancy reading about natural childbirth, researching equipment, and obsessing over websites that provided a glimpse of my baby’s weekly development in my womb.
2. That said, I also obsessed over the What to Expect website. Why? Because I instinctively knew that it would be better to listen to others in my situation rather than “experts” and this site gave me a place to meet up with other expectant mothers who were due around the time my baby’s due date. It was terrific – when I had a concern, someone had already been through the same worry, and we helped each other through those days. Then when our babies were born, we kept each other company through even bigger concerns that come with the early days of parenting. In fact, some of us still keep in touch on a daily basis. (I love the Internet).
As for listening to parenting experts, I have a (growing) library of parenting books, and plenty of unread pregnancy ones too (see what you have to look forward to, especially when we decide to go for Baby #2!). As you probably know by now, I take what I feel I can use, talk about it with all of you, and leave the rest behind. This is the same thing I will do with Ms. Skenazy’s book. So far I can say that I can’t imagine letting my nine year old ride public transportation alone, but I will also take that on a case by case basis (while one nine-year-old might be ready, another ten-year old might not be). It pays to know you kid when making those types of decisions, and it’s one advantage you have over the parenting experts, who are speaking in generalities.
Other posts about Free Range Kids:
Post 1: Free Range Kids, by Lenore Skenazy
Post 2: Trick or Treat – Ooh, Scary…
Post 3: Bird Man, or Stranger Danger
Post 4: My Kid is Smarter than Your Kid
Post 5: Breastfeeding, Vaccinations, and Cookie Dough
Post 6: DO Talk to Strangers
Awesome! I’ve wanted to experiment with this, but the temptation to send out the most unloved of the 4 children creeps in and then I feel guilty about playing un-favorites. As an engineer, I appreciate the risk assessment element of the experiment.
I wish our kids could be as care-free as I was growing up. oh wait, they are – they just have learned to pay less attention to our ranting about staying safe.
I shared this book with my sociology class today and they flat out refused to listen to the risk assessment element. They wrote her off as a crazy, careless mother, period.